Derbyversary, Part I

I have probably thought of topics for a thousand blog posts in the last couple days, but have not had one second to sit down and actually write any of them. It's now 9pm on Sunday night and I am completely exhausted. Between baking a cake, practice, a bout, helping with our Derby 101 class, another practice and a team cookout, I feel like I have run the derby marathon. Four more days of derby start tomorrow, then a 2 day break followed by 7 days straight up to our league championships. Whew...

This month marks my one year "derbyversary" and before I put on skates and aspired to a roller girl, my life was totally different. Generally my evenings consisted of cooking dinner, eating dinner, watching tv, and going to bed. More often or not, a bottle (or two of wine) was involved. Weekends were typically full of drinks too.

It wasn't like we were going out and partying, but it added up just the same. A typical Saturday started with beers while we did yard work, then maybe go out for lunch and a drink there too. On the way home, grab a bottle of wine and drink that while we made dinner. I don't think any of us felt like we needed to drink, it was more like something that came from lack of having anything better to do.

Between the pregnancy, miscarriage, and the drinking, I put on about 10 (more) pounds and was basically a lazy slug. When I finally decided to do this derby thing, part of the reason was that I wanted to get in shape. Apparently the thought never occurred to me that I should be in better shape to play derby.

When I first started skating with my Meat class, I didn't have a ton of trouble keeping up in the endurance department (I mean we were all newbs), but I was definitely slow. As a former high school athlete (read: half-assed attempts at random sports without much enthusiasm), I gave myself a little too much credit for having done sporty things in my adolescence.

The first endurance practice that I ever attended with my league was probably one of the worst, yet important days of my derby career to date. It was an outdoors practice in late summer and we were going to skate 12 miles around a point. From the start I knew things were going to be bad. I was trying really hard and yet a giant gap was forming in front of me in the pace line. In no time, other skaters were going around me, including other meaties who I had seen quit in long drills or endless pace lines when I had kept going. At one point I remember someone passing me and patting me on the shoulder. I know she meant well, but the look on her face was clearly one of pity.

It turned out that the problem that day was the rock hard starter wheels that had come on my skates; they made pavement a miserable, torturous experience. After a very kind vet skater loaned me some hybrid wheels, I went back and skated that point with ease. I felt a little vindicated, but nothing could change how that day made me feel. Mostly because it made me realize how other people must see me and forced me to look at myself the same way.

That endurance practice was a wake-up call and I vowed to make changes. At first I just started by trying harder. I tried to never have to stop in a drill and I practiced as much as I could. A lot of times I would seek out other skaters with skills I envied and take mental notes, trying out what I saw until I was able to start doing it myself.

I guess I did something right because when it came time for drafts, I was lucky enough to get drafted by the undefeated league champions. Frankly, I didn't know what they saw in me, but I was just ecstatic to skate with them... and that was when I found out that I hadn't even gotten to the real work.

21 roller derby truths

Because I like lists and I'm on a new supplement that feels a bit like Adderall, I don't know if I could actually write paragraphs that make sense. Instead, I'm going to list some "derby truths," aka things that I'm fairly certain most derby girls can relate to:

1. Roller derby is the best thing you will ever do for yourself
2. Some days of practice will really suck, no matter how great you get.
3. Some days of practice will be really awesome, no matter how bad you think you suck.
4. You do actually have to come and participate in practice to get better.
5. You do actually have to put in time outside of practice to get better.
6. You will always learn more when you shut your mouth.
7. No one wants to be your partner if you quit before the drill even begins. (#1 pet peeve of mine)
8. Yes, everyone is giving you the stink eye when you quit the drill to stretch.
9. Yes, you will fail/suck at something a thousand times before you finally get it/perfect it.
10. It really does take a year to have a good base understanding the game of roller derby.
11. Train your hamstrings and not just your quads if you want that low back pain to go away and your derby stance to be lower.
12. Your team/league has faith in you, that's why you're there. You owe it to them to work hard and prove that they were right to choose you.
13. No one outside of roller derby will understand why you are so obsessed with roller derby.
14. If you eat a cracker and a salad before practice, you will regret it. (Would you not put gas in your car before a road trip?)
15. If you eat a McDonald's value meal before practice, you will regret it. (Would you let half of the air out of your tires before a drive?)
16. Fifty people will show you how to do a skill before one of their explanations finally clicks.
17. Fresh meat: Listen to a vet's advice. They have dealt with every situation you have, and then some.
18. No one starts their derby career as Suzy Hotrod.
19. Eventually you will dream of hip checking people everywhere.
20. No matter how much you hate it, jamming will help you be a better derby player.
21. Derby is motherfucking awesome. (sorry family, but there were no synonyms in the thesaurus)

... annnnd, I'm spent. Feel free to add on below :)

Unexpected side effects of roller derby

Over the last week I've been thinking of the ways that roller derby has changed my life, more so the unexpected things. If you are "fresh meat" or you've yet to get involved with your local derby scene, some of these things may come as a shock to you. If you've been in the derby world awhile, I suspect you'll be nodding along as you read some of these.

1. Even if your weight does not change, all of your jeans are now too tight. You've put on muscle since you started playing derby and that's great, but guess what? I hope you like jeggings. Seriously, this doesn't happen to everyone, but there are a lot of girls who can no longer wear jeans. Period.
2. Your elbows and knees will now sweat during non-derby related exercise. This one is so weird to me, but I've asked around and apparently this is common. Lately I've noticed that after I finish my cardio, my knees and elbows are sweaty. Awesome, right? Who doesn't want to sweat more places?
3. Your entire concept of colors will change. You may not own one pink item of clothing or any pink accessories, but now you've been drafted onto the Powderpuff Super Pink Rollerdolls. You now love pink. All of your things will be pink. Pink is the only color that matters.
4. You finally use that calendar function on your smart phone. Once upon a time ago, I probably only had 3-4 events I needed to remember per month and they could easily be tracked via the whiteboard on the refrigerator. Now, the minute someone starts talking dates, I have to whip out Google calendar. "How about 8 Thursdays from next week, does that work?"
5. You own a shocking amount of Lycra. From DerbySkinz to workout pants to EZfit Booties, the amount of Lycra in your closet is reaching record setting levels. The good news, you can take a really small bag on any derby trips. The bad news, if you're me, so much of the Lycra is black so you can never find exactly what you're looking for in a hurry.

I'm sure there are a million more I am not thinking of, so there will probably be a part 2 to this. In the mean time, feel free to share some of yours in the comments.