21 roller derby truths

Because I like lists and I'm on a new supplement that feels a bit like Adderall, I don't know if I could actually write paragraphs that make sense. Instead, I'm going to list some "derby truths," aka things that I'm fairly certain most derby girls can relate to:

1. Roller derby is the best thing you will ever do for yourself
2. Some days of practice will really suck, no matter how great you get.
3. Some days of practice will be really awesome, no matter how bad you think you suck.
4. You do actually have to come and participate in practice to get better.
5. You do actually have to put in time outside of practice to get better.
6. You will always learn more when you shut your mouth.
7. No one wants to be your partner if you quit before the drill even begins. (#1 pet peeve of mine)
8. Yes, everyone is giving you the stink eye when you quit the drill to stretch.
9. Yes, you will fail/suck at something a thousand times before you finally get it/perfect it.
10. It really does take a year to have a good base understanding the game of roller derby.
11. Train your hamstrings and not just your quads if you want that low back pain to go away and your derby stance to be lower.
12. Your team/league has faith in you, that's why you're there. You owe it to them to work hard and prove that they were right to choose you.
13. No one outside of roller derby will understand why you are so obsessed with roller derby.
14. If you eat a cracker and a salad before practice, you will regret it. (Would you not put gas in your car before a road trip?)
15. If you eat a McDonald's value meal before practice, you will regret it. (Would you let half of the air out of your tires before a drive?)
16. Fifty people will show you how to do a skill before one of their explanations finally clicks.
17. Fresh meat: Listen to a vet's advice. They have dealt with every situation you have, and then some.
18. No one starts their derby career as Suzy Hotrod.
19. Eventually you will dream of hip checking people everywhere.
20. No matter how much you hate it, jamming will help you be a better derby player.
21. Derby is motherfucking awesome. (sorry family, but there were no synonyms in the thesaurus)

... annnnd, I'm spent. Feel free to add on below :)

Practice like you mean it

Last night I was lucky enough to be able to co-train with one of my teammates. She is a vet who has been with the league since the beginning and captained my home team 4 out of the 6 years it has existed. Basically, she knows her shit and her practices are typically my favorites because I get a lot out of them. Last night, even though I was co-training, was no exception.

Our focus at practice was man-on-man aka offense. For some reason our league is all about the big D so we've been working to change that. We started off with a semi-tough warm-up, followed by 3 drills that focused on different parts of offensive pack movement: moving from the in or out of an opposing player and hitting them in the direction you just came from, movement within the pack to hit an opposing player anywhere in the pack, and distracting an opposing blocker to help your jammer. Then, we moved on to offensive pack scenarios, calisthenics, and stretching.

These were all drills we had done a million times in practice and so the goal was to not just go through the motions, but to think of each drill as if you are in a jam playing offense and not doing a drill. This is a mentality I have been trying really hard to sustain all the time and I wholeheartedly think it has made me a better skater. I don't just mean at practice, but at the gym too. When I'm slogging it out on the treadmill, I'm thinking, 'this is my speed lap'. When I am doing 3 minutes of death squats, I'm thinking about how I'm going to be immovable on the track.

Honestly, I see a lot of people calling it in at practice and that's fine I guess, but if you're there to get better and you aspire to have a pinky toes worth of Bonnie Thunders' skill, go to every practice like its the difference between being rostered in your next bout and warming the bench.