Never enough

28 pounds and 6 months
Photo (left) courtesy of James Calder Photography

I'm still riding pretty high on this season's victory, but looming ever closer are thoughts about next season and what part I will play. Of course, I want to be faster, stronger, and a more dependable partner on the track. I want to be thinner and healthier. I want to juke better, plow on a dime, be aware of everything on the track...

In short, I want to be awesome. You know, like every other derby girl out there.

To date I've lost 28 pounds and have been bobbing at this same weight for a couple weeks now. I feel like I have come so far and yet also like I've hardly made any progress. I wonder if it's common to feel simultaneously proud of yourself and frustrated that you haven't gotten farther?

The fact that I feel like I can never be content has been both a blessing and a curse in my life. In relationships I've been accused of never being happy, but I swear that's not the case. It's more like a need, a necessity, to do better, have better, be better. The fear that someone is nipping at my heels, ready to eclipse my success or that someone doesn't trust my ability to do something feels like it may as well be fatal sometimes. The good part that comes from this sense of urgency is that I have become good at a lot of things and been a "go-to" person in many parts of my life.

In a way, it feels like now is the real start of my derby career. Most of the newbie-ness is gone and I can no longer use the excuse that I am a rookie. For me it's not I will I be better next season, but how much better will I be? I guess time will tell. Until then, full speed ahead!

Awesome Alla Time

Have I told you lately that I love my team? No seriously... I really, really love these women. Sure, sometimes I might want to choke one or two of them and they probably want to choke me too, but that's the way it works with family, right?

Saturday afternoon we showed up at the DC Armory after weeks of grueling practices, strategy sessions, and team cohesion get-togethers, ready to play. We never expected it to be easy; we knew we were going to have to work hard jam after jam and play our game - always proactive and never reactive.

It all paid off when at the end of the bout the scoreboard read Scare Force One 229 to Cherry Blossom Bombshells 102.

Now that Championships are over and life is calming a little, I'll be back to my regular posting schedule. For now though I will be basking in victory and cuddling our trophy.

Why we gotta be so awesome alla time? ~ Helena Handbag, Scare Force One, DC Rollergirls

Scare Force One, Season 6 DCRG Champions