Good enough is not good enough

Learning new things has always come easily to me and not only do I pick up on them quickly, but often manage to become better than average in no time. This has served me pretty well in the past, being just good enough to be decent without really putting that much effort into it. It seems that once I prove to myself that I could be really good at something if I just put a little more time into it, I lose all interest... well until now.

To be honest, in the beginning I wondered if derby would just be another one of those things. It was entirely possible that I would see all of the hard work it took and and decide I just couldn't make the sacrifices. You know what though? I saw all of the hard work and in my mind had already decided that I probably wouldn't make it, but a funny thing has been happening. I keep showing up, I keep working hard, I keep telling myself that I will learn even when I fail at the same drill over and over and over.

For a while my only sacrifices were showing up at every opportunity to skate: 6 days a week before DCRG try-outs, open skates, Charm School, nearly every Meat Camp practice (only missing to take care of my mom and make it to my Uncle's Naval retirement party), and every invite by teams before the draft. After party? Post practice drinks? I was there meeting more league members. 

Like most competitive people, I am my own worst critic and was extremely surprised when I received a call that I had been drafted by my number one team choice - a team stacked with amazing skaters and a record to show for it. ECSTATIC! Obviously all of that skating paid off! Look I did it again!

Fast forward a couple months: my team is awesome and I am still amazed at every practice that I can call these women my team mates. It makes me sappy in way I am normally not for anything else. As for me? I feel like I am exactly the same. 

I've hit a wall and I think that wall is my own ass. That's right, I'm getting booty blocked by my own big fat ass. When I see bout pics and videos, I do not know that woman. She is not the athlete I want to be. She is not the person I want to be. 

It is time for a change. Time to put in the real work.